Thursday, October 16, 2008

No Comment



Lyric of the Day

Folks
I'd like to sing a song about the American Dream
About me,
About you,
About the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottoms of our chests,
About that special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts
Or maybe below the cockles,
Maybe in the sub cockle area,
Maybe in the liver,
Maybe in the kidneys,
Maybe even in the colon,
We don't know

I'm just a regular joe,
With a regular job.
I'm your average white,
Suburbanite slob.
I like football, and porno, and books about war.
I've got an average house,
With a nice hardwood floor.
My wife, and my job, my kids, and my car,
My feet on the table,
With a Cuban cigar.
But sometimes that just ain't enough,
To keep a man like me interested,
Oh no, no way, uh uhh.
No I gotta go out and have fun,
At someone else's expense,
Oh yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah,

I drive really slow,
In the ultra fast lane,
while people, behind me, are going insane.

I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, such an asshole)

I use public toilets,
And I piss on the seats,
I walk around in the summer time,
Sayin' "How 'bout this heat?"

I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's the worlds biggest asshole)

Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces,
While handicapped people make handicapped faces,

I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's a big fucking asshole)

Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song,
Ranting and raving and carrying on,
Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong.
NAAAHHHHH

I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's the worlds biggest asshole)

You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac El Dorado Convertible,
Hot Pink!
With whale skin hub caps,
An all leather cow interior,
And big brown baby seal eyes for headlights.
YEAH!
And I'm gonna drive around in that baby,
At 115 miles per hour,
Getting one mile per gallon,
Sucking down quarter-pounder cheeseburgers from McDonalds in the old-fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers.
And when I'm done sucking down those grease ball burgers,
I'm gonna wipe my mouth in the American flag,
And then I'm gonna toss the styrofoam containers right out the side,
And there ain't a God damn thing anybody can do about it,
You know why?
'Cause we got the bombs, that's why.
Two words, Nuclear Fucking Weapons OK.
Russia, Germany, Romania,
They can have all the democracy they want.
They can have a big democracy cake,
Walk right through the middle of Tiananmen Square,
And it won't make a lick of difference,
Because we got the bombs OK!
John Wayne's not dead,
He's frozen.
And as soon as we find a cure for cancer, we're gonna thaw out the duke.
And he's gonna be pretty pissed off,
You know why?
Have you ever taken a cold shower?
Well multiply that by 15 million times,
That's how pissed off the duke's gonna be.
I'm gonna get the duke,
And John Desimeties,
And Lee Marvin
And Sam Peckinpaugh,
And a case of whiskey,
And drive down to Texas,
And,
(hey, Hey, You know you really are an asshole)
Why don't you shut up and sing the song pal,
You know the whole time I thought I was that asshole,
And it turns out it was him,
What an Asshole

I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's the worlds biggest asshole)

A, SS, HO, LE
Everybody,
A, SS, HO, LE

I'm an asshole, and I'm Proud of it!

No comments: