Friday, February 03, 2006

Hahahahaha... WhatanIdiot... (wipes eyes)... hee

Today there's this from
The nation collectively scratched its head and muttered "What the hell?" when George W. Bush began jabbering about the threat of "human-animal hybrids" during Tuesday night's State of the Union speech.

While many Americans have gotten used to the president's increasingly weird crusades -- such as high-school steroid testing and canceling Social Security -- his bizarre remarks about "human-animal hybrids" suggest the White House is now focusing its limited brainpower on mythical beasts such as mermaids and centaurs.

Some commentators said he might be scared of human-animal hybrids he's seen in science-fiction movies or television shows, such as "The X-Men" or "Manimal."

Even if the threats are purely fictional, there was no doubting Bush's sincerity. The fear in his eyes was palpable, and his voice cracked and quavered as he told America about this fantastic new enemy of the United States.

But careful research suggests Bush's latest "threat" may be both more mundane and much more important than his terrified fantasies of werewolves and snake-people.

Scientists are finally figuring out the mechanics of genetic diseases such as Down's Syndrome, and one startling new advance is the creation of "chimeras" -- animal cells that have been genetically modified to have more human traits, such as a pig with human blood that could be used to research cures for human blood diseases.

As with all new genetic research involving human cells of any kind, the Bush Administration is strictly against these "chimeras" because it could interfere with God's ability to kill sick people.

Bush apparently hasn't been told that a human-animal hybrid is being used by millions of diabetics every day ... and it's totally legal.

Quote of the Day:"Ordinarily he was insane, but he had lucid moments when he was merely stupid."
Heinrich Heine (1797 - 1856)

1 comment:

Bob Merkin said...

Thanks for reminding me to take my 25 units of Genetically Cloned Human-Animal Hybrid! I need to shoot this stuff up twice a day, or I will shortly die an unimaginably ghastly death.

In North America at least, slaughterhouse biproduct insulin entirely disappeared at least five years ago, it's all CLONED!!!!!!!!! now. You gave to go to the 3rd World if you have nostalgia for the old sheep or cow or pig pancreas juice.

There is one mystery. WHOSE human insulin gene did Eli Lilly use? Arnold Schwarzennegger's? Britney Spears'? Donald Trump's? That kid who hangs out in the 7-11 parking lot all night?

Here's verified certified authentic photographic evidence of Human-Animal Hybrids: